Snow White
Character Bios
- Snow White
- Princess and fairest in the land
- The Queen
- Snow White's evil stepmotherr
- Nurse Nelly
- Nurse to the royal household
- Muddles
- The palace handyman
- Ratfink
- The Queen's head henchman
- Weasel
- The other henchman
- Prince Artemis
- A Handsome Prince
- Magic Mirror
- A Magic Mirror
- The Seven Dwarfs
- Brainy
- Cranky
- Smiler
- Snoozy
- Sniffy
- Blusher
- Dozy
Extracts
- Queen:
-
Everyone seems to be having far too nice a time! Including you lot! The only reason I threw this miserable party is so that I could invite important dignitaries from neighbouring Kingdoms….and spy on them! Oh and I've invited that handsome young prince. I expect once he sees me, he'll fall for my noble appearance and soon the wedding bells will be ringing giving me more power than ever. HaHaHa.
Where are those two idiot attendants of mine?
(Calls) Ratfink, Weasel?
(Ratfink and Weasel make a comical entrance, clearly slightly incompetent)
- Ratfink:
-
Did you call my Queen?
- Weasel:
-
You know she did that's why we just came in.
- Ratfink:
-
I know I know. I was just asking her.
- Weasel:
-
Well she knows that as well, she's the one that did it.
- Ratfink:
-
Yes yes, I know that.
- Weasel:
-
Then why are you asking her?
- Ratfink:
-
To let her know we are here.
- Weasel:
-
I didn't think we were that difficult to see.
- Ratfink:
-
That was clearly not what I meant when I said it.
- Weasel:
-
Well, it wasn't that clear.
- Ratfink:
-
Only to a dunce.
- Weasel:
-
Ah! That's where you're wrong. Because I didn't get it either, that's all I'm saying; me and the dunce.
- Ratfink:
-
You have a lot in common you and the dunce.
- Weasel:
-
See, I wouldn't know. I've never met him.
- Queen:
-
You're both dunces! You're a dunce and you're a dunce.
- Weasel:
-
That's good. I expect we'd all get along then.
- Muddles:
-
You look stressed.
- Prince:
-
Well, I was looking for Snow White and accidentally ended up here…
- Muddles:
-
Do you want a cuddle?
- Prince:
-
A cuddle?
- Muddles:
-
With Snow White?
- Nelly:
-
What's this about a cuddle? You know I love cuddles, Muddles.
- Muddles:
-
The Prince wants a cuddle!
- Nelly:
-
Happy to oblige! (She hugs him) That's nice…join us Muddles.
- Muddles:
-
If I join it'll be a huddle (hugs other side of Prince).
- Prince:
-
(getting squashed) With me in the middle!
- Nelly:
-
What a lovely cuddle.
- Muddles:
-
Huddle.
- Nelly:
-
What a lovely huddle, with you in the middle.
- Prince:
-
About to Buckle.
- Queen:
-
What twaddle! You look like fools (laughs).
- Muddles:
-
Oh, listen to her cackle, just because she can't have a cuddle.
- Prince:
-
Huddle.
- Nelly:
-
With you in the middle.
- Prince:
-
Do you cuddle anyone?
- Muddles:
-
Yes she's so fickle.
- Nelly:
-
Quiet, you pickle. Just finish the cuddle.
- Queen:
-
Huddle.
- Nelly:
-
Yes, Huddle. Big squeeze, and relax!
- Queen:
-
So Snow White, what are you doing up at this time?
- Snow White:
-
Step Mother!
- Queen:
-
I really think it's time you started calling me just 'Mother.' We have a close bond you and I, don't we?
- Snow White:
-
I always got the impression you disliked me.
- Queen:
-
What a notion! Dislike you. Of course not, I just like people to know where they stand; as long as you never do anything to betray me….
- Snow White:
-
Betray you? I don't know what you mean.
- Queen:
-
No, you are as innocent as a lamb aren't you? Such a pretty little thing too. Don't worry Snow White; I have grown to love you as much as I loved your father.
- Snow White:
-
How I miss him. Well…Mother…I think I should make my way to bed. Goodnight.
(She exits)
- Queen:
-
Sleep well…it will be your last on this earth! Hahahah. That's right her time has come. Scheming behind my back…stealing the Prince from right under my nose! She'll pay for this! Ratfink, Weasel, where are you?